January 2, 2014

How To: Avoid Doing Important Things

Welcome to 2014. You ready?

The first thing I learned in 2014 was that, when you get to be 25, bouncing back from drinking a moderate amount of alcohol is not as easy as it was when you were 22. Am I right, ladies?

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I thought I'd sit down today and actually write a live, come-up-with-stuff-as-I-go post. First thing that came to mind? How much you can find to do when you want to avoid being productive.

1. Netflix
The ultimate time-sucker. You only watched one episode of Dexter? Pssh, who are you? You know you want to watch eleven. You can also find everything you never wanted to watch, but will because it beats organizing your closet or putting away laundry. Amiright?

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2. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit marathons
Oh, just me? Thank you USA network for celebrating everything SVU: Olivia Benson Hair marathon, Mariska Hargitay birthday marathon, Family Feuds marathon, Resolve to Watch marathon, Detective Amaro marathon....the list goes on. You think they could put together a Bensidy (Benson + Cassidy, duh) marathon for me to watch? Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting on my ass in front of the TV for ten hours.

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3. Organize iTunes
Because, HELLO, your music needs to be anally organized by artist, genre, and year, all songs must have album covers included, lyrics must be provided in the information box, and all writers of the song must be named. You think I'm kidding?

4. Blog Giveaways
Who wouldn't want to follow a few blogs, write a few comments, and tweet a little for a chance to win $3,000,000. Or a $5 Starbucks gift card.

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5. Puppy Cuddles
Puppy cuddles > Taking a shower, brushing your hair, looking like a sane, career-oriented, responsible adult. Just try me.

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6. Don't Answer the Phone
A foolproof way to not have to do something. "Oh, sorry, I must have left my phone in my purse in the other room on silent. I totally forgot about that!"

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7. Make a List
Wait, what? Breanna, this should be on a list of how to get important things done. Nope. Why?
Honey, write things down on that list that you already did, then cross them out! Nothing makes you feel more like you've actually been productive.

And I'm ending the list at 7. Bye.

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  1. OMG!!! This is hilarious! I found your blog through "Found Love, Now what?" I thought you looked super fun in your ad and… you are! Glad I found you, new follower from Hello Lovely!

  2. Hahaha amen!! I use all of these tactics!