September 18, 2013

An Ode to Miranda

Remember when Hallie & Nikki wrote a plea to Luke Bryan? How awesome was that!

I've decided to take a hint from that letter and write something to the wonderful Miranda Lambert, who is seriously one of the greatest people alive.

I mean, I'm just a little obsessed. I may even YouTube videos of Miranda singing "The House That Built Me" live in concert &, most of the time, I end up with tears in my eyes. Especially if she starts crying while singing it. Please still like me.

Miranda, this is for you. Even though you probably won't find this.

 Reasons I Love Miranda Lambert/Little Notes to Miranda Lambert

- No one has more Texas Pride than you, lady! You are Texas as Hell!

- If I idolized Somebody Else, well, that would just be wrong.

- Your music is killer: doesn't matter if I'm out drinkin' or just Lyin' Here.

- You don't just write songs about Another Heartache (like some other little star).

- All I have to do is ask myself: What in the World would Miranda do?

- I fell in love with Jack Daniels too ;)

- Something That I Like About a Honky Tonk is that they play all your songs!

- I would love you even if you moved to Witchita Falls & said your Last Good-Bye to country music fans.

 - You inspire me to pick up my New Strings and jam out.

- I Can't Be Bothered with all those wanna-be country singers.

- Please Bring Me Down to Tishomingo with you! Please?

- I'd ride on a Greyhound Bound for Nowhere just to see you in concert.

- I feel like There's a Wall between me and other country artists, but you let everyone know the real you!

- If I met a cute guy that liked you as much as me? You can bet you'd see Me & Charlie Talkin'!

- And if he broke up with me? He better hide his Kerosene...

- What About Georgia...could you talk to your friend Hillary Scott and get me some tickets to their concert there in April?

- 'I Wanna Die' is what I would say if I couldn't get to your concert in October. Well, maybe not that extreme, but you get the picture.

- 'Love is Looking for You' is what you would remind me if I vented about my love life, or lack there of.

- I would love to say 'Mama, I'm Alright, I'm just at the Miranda & Dierks concert in St. Paul'!

- I Love Your Memory. Especially that story you told during your concert about meeting Lady Gaga at the Grammy's.

 - More than once, I've went all Gunpowder & Lead on some people. Oops?

- If you and me lived in a Dry ha, wait a minute!

- You let everyone know that they too can become Famous in a Small Town.

- You are the epitome of a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but aren't we all...

- Don't you just adore these Love Letters I'm writing you?

- In a moment of Desperation such as this, I'm not above asking you: can I hitch a ride in your airstream & follow you around the world?

-Everytime I wish I could be More Like Her, she reminds me that it takes All Kinds of Kinds.

- Whenever I'm Down, you know how to cheer me back up.

- Who's cried at a Miranda Lambert performance? I'm definitely Guilty in Here.

- Getting Ready for your concert in October would be half the fun. You know I would rock some cowboy boots and sparkles!

- Listening to some of your music calms me down and makes me think it will be Easy From Now On.

- You ain't Nobody's Used to Be!

- You may be a country music superstar, but inside you're just a Girl Like Me.

- If you can't find anything to wear for your St. Paul concert, Take It Out on Me and force me to go shopping with you. We can hit up the Mall of America!

- I haven't seen you in concert since January 2012 and I Just Really Miss You!

- Lord help any White Liar. Girls everywhere will show them what's up.

- You know all those size 2 princesses? You're just like them, Only Prettier.

- Even if Blake gave you Dead Flowers, you'd still love him.

- Two things you would totally love? Me & Your Cigarettes. But I know you don't smoke. And neither do I.

- Even if I had to stand in line outside in -30* temperatures, I would Maintain the Pain just to get tickets to your concert!

- Sometimes I wish I lived in a pimped-out airstream like yours so I could write an Airstream Song and have it be legit.

- I was Makin' Plans to see you in October, but then I realized I am broke. Boo.

- I'm thinking it's Time to Get a Gun. Necklace, that is. From Etsy with your lyrics on it. I totally want one!

- All the boys know that your house is Somewhere Trouble Don't Go.

- While I was living in The House That Built Me, I first discovered your music and fell in love.

- You don't always get sappy and write a Love Song.

- You, my dear friend, have a Heart Like Mine.

- I may or may not trade a Sin for a Sin to see you in concert?

- I can't help that you're my favorite country star. That's the Way That the World Goes Round!

- You're just a pretty, little Virginia Bluebell.

- I previously mentioned jamming on my guitar. Do you think you could Fine Tune it? It's a little out of tune and I totally suck at that!

- You're probably the Fastest Girl in Town, driving around Tishomingo in your truck.

- All the little doggies are Safe now because you have a heart for them & make sure they get a loving home!

- All those bad ass, girl power, revenge anthems of yours are enough to cure Mama's Broken Heart.

- Dear Diamond, you're pretty, but I'd rather have some tickets to Miranda, please!

- I can always count on you to stay the Same Old You.

- If we were BFFs and I moved to Nashville, you'd meet me at the Baggage Claim and we'd go to all the Honky Tonks & then the Grand Ole Opry to watch you perform.

- Living in an apartment in Nashville, working as one of your tour managers/assistants, and having all my student loans already paid off would be the definition of Easy Living.

- I will never get Over You and your music.

- 'Look at Miss Ohio! She's such a skank.', you'd say if you had a little too much vodka. Being that it makes you mean and all ;)

- You only get Better in the Long Run.

- You, my friend, ain't Nobody's Fool!

- I love when your dresses sparkle as bright as the Oklahoma Sky.

- It really Hurts to Think that I'm not going to your concert up in St. Paul on October 11th.

- You were just raised like a Coal Miner's Daughter and fame found you.

- My family? Well, We Were Us at your last concert & didn't care if anyone saw us dancing around to your music.

- Everyone has a Bad Angel sittin' on one of their shoulders, even you.

- I bet you and Blake have a Bare Skin Rug at home. But we won't go there ;)

- Your music reminds me of Home.

- If you went missing, I would be the one Draggin' the River until we found you. And that would totally be a Law & Order SVU episode because the small appearance you made in an episode just wasn't enough!

- I'd so be Red River Blue if you stopped making music.

- I never have to say Today I Started Lovin' You Again because I will never stop lovin' you Miss Miranda!

- I may be a Grown Woman, but I still profess my love for you in a blog post.

- Some people you meet are Strangers on a Train. We, however, could totally be BFFs.

- You Wrote a Song for Everyone when you sang The House That Built Me.

Thank you for your time and I promise you I'm not a stalker. Love you!

 Remind me to never dye my hair platinum blonde....

 See? We're already BFFs!
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  1. Don't hurt me, but I'm going in October, floor seats with my cousin and this totally made me more pumped!!

    I agree with Dara, I think we should try to get her to tweet you!