July 31, 2013

The Perfect Patient

The Perfect Patient...*

1. Understands they are not the nurse's only patient.

2. Would like to do nothing but listen to what the nurse & doctor want him/her to do.

3. Only has medication to be taken once per shift.

4. Is not involved in the medical profession.

5. Thinks the call light is annoying & only uses it in an extremely dire situation.

 and you are silently screaming — “blaaarrrghhh!!"

6. Does not have demanding family members.

 we’ve all met one of those.

7. Appreciates all the nurse does for him/her & says so once in awhile.

8. Has a nice, but brief, conversation with you when you enter their room.

9. Does not code, fall, or go into respiratory distress on your shift.

10. Leaves the hospital feeling better than they came in. That's really all we want.....most of the time.

** Most of this is completely sarcasm. As an RN, we came into the job knowing what we were getting into.

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  1. I completely agree with all of the above.

  2. Woohoo! According to your list, I'm a pretty awesome patient :)

  3. #3- I wish! that would be magical.
    #8- emphasis on the word "brief!"
    I agree with all these. awesome list! :)