February 9, 2010

Dear Nothing Left

Dear Nothing Left,
Dear Girl who doesn’t remember what it’s like to fall asleep without a wet pillow; Dear Girl who hasn’t had a real meal in days so that she can keep up with the trends; Dear Girl who has done drug after drug, but still can’t find fulfillment; Dear Girl who just once wants to be told she is beautiful; Dear Girl who gives herself up to boy after boy but never gets the love she is looking for; Dear Girl who doesn’t feel "pretty enough", "smart enough ", good enough; Dear Girl who is tired of fighting, who doesn’t know if she can make it through this:
You are beautiful. You are good enough. You will get through this.

Highschool. The beautiful girls get everything, it seems. You see them in the halls, boys surrounding them, all smiles. Perfection. Maybe you tell yourself you will never amount to them, never be as pretty, never be as loved. Maybe you try so hard to keep up with the magazines and you look in the mirror feeling so insufficient, pinching your thighs and wondering what it would take to look like "them". You never even stop to think that maybe you are beautiful just the way you are. Someone once said, "It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not." When you focus on all you aren’t, how will you ever see how great you are? Believe in yourself, love yourself, and tell yourself every day that you are beautiful no matter what, because maybe, just maybe you really are.

"Why aren’t you pretty enough? Why aren’t you smart enough? Why aren’t you good enough?" the voices say. You try to drown them out, but as much as you try, they’re still there. Slowly, they get louder & louder, consuming every thought you have, and you begin to wonder if they will ever stop. Maybe you even begin to believe those voices, maybe you now recognize the voice as your own. Don’t let others tell you what is enough. Know that you will mess up, but don’t let that keep you from trying again. Know that you are the only person who can decide what enough is. Believe in yourself. "You are pretty enough. You are smart enough. You are good enough," the voice whispers, and that one whisper is enough to quiet the voices that you thought might never stop.
Maybe you feel like you’ve been followed by a dark cloud & that the sun will never come up. Maybe you’ve been fighting for it all to be over for what seems like an eternity, maybe you’ve just given up & you’re willing to accept it. Either way, bad times will come and at times your path won’t be illuminated & you might find yourself lost, having no idea what to do next. Luckily, you have someone to turn to. Someone who knows how many hairs are on your head, who knows every thought that comes to your mind, and exactly where your life will lead, who knows every turn, bump, and pebble on that path that isn’t illuminated, the path you need so desperately to find. With Him, you can conquer any obstacle, you can overcome any fear, and you can finally get rid of that dark cloud. Keep your head up, pray, and never lose hope. Tomorrow’s a new day, and the sun will come up.

Never say, "God I have a big problem..." Instead, say, "Problem, I have a big God."

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